Self-Soothing Skill

Definition

Self-Soothing is a Distress Tolerance skill in DBT that involves comforting yourself through the deliberate use of your five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. It is designed to reduce distress by engaging pleasant sensory experiences that promote calm and grounding.

Purpose

Used to:

• Decrease emotional pain without acting impulsively.
• Nurture and care for yourself in healthy ways.
• Cultivate feelings of safety and comfort during difficult moments.

When to Use

Use Self-Soothing when:

• You feel intense sadness, fear, or anger.
• You are experiencing urges to self-harm or use substances.
• You want to gently regulate emotion without problem-solving right away.

When Not to Use

Avoid using this skill if:

• You are in immediate danger and need to take action.
• You are trying to suppress emotions long-term instead of processing them.
• Self-soothing activities could become compulsive or avoidant.

How-To

1. Sight: Look at calming or beautiful things (e.g., nature, art, candles).
2. Hearing: Listen to soothing music, sounds of nature, or calming voices.
3. Smell: Use pleasant scents (e.g., essential oils, fresh flowers, your favorite lotion).
4. Taste: Mindfully savor comforting food or drink (e.g., herbal tea, chocolate).
5. Touch: Wrap yourself in a soft blanket, take a warm bath, hold something comforting.

Tips & Variations

• Create a Self-Soothing Kit with items for each sense.
• Rotate activities so they stay effective.
• Combine multiple senses at once for greater impact.
• Practice when you’re calm so it’s easier to use when distressed.

Example

Lena feels lonely and overwhelmed after work.

1. Lights a scented candle (smell).
2. Wraps up in a cozy blanket (touch).
3. Listens to gentle piano music (hearing).
4. Sips chamomile tea slowly (taste).
5. Looks at photos of a peaceful beach (sight).

Inventor / Origin

Self-Soothing was integrated into DBT by Marsha Linehan, PhD, as part of the Distress Tolerance skills module, drawing on practices from mindfulness, behavioral therapy, and sensory-based interventions.

Related Skills

• IMPROVE the Moment
• Pros and Cons
• TIPP Skill
• Radical Acceptance

Limitations

May not be effective if:

• You expect it to solve the root of the problem.
• You engage in self-soothing only as avoidance.
• You are unable to access comforting sensory tools in the moment.

Evidence Base

Research shows:

• Self-Soothing lowers physiological arousal and distress.
• Regular practice improves resilience to emotional crises.
• Mindful sensory engagement can increase emotional regulation capacity.

Further Reading

• DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets by Marsha Linehan
• Self-Soothing Techniques
• The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by McKay, Wood, and Brantley
• DBT Self-Help: Self-Soothing

References

• Linehan, M.M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual, Second Edition. New York: Guilford Press.
• Neacsiu, A.D., Rizvi, S.L., & Linehan, M.M. (2010). "Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Use as a Mediator and Outcome of Treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder." Behaviour Research and Therapy, 48(9), 832–839.